I neglect this blog too much....
I promise to change that...
I always make those promises...
There is a lot going on and I want to write and share but time is never in abundance...
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Anger
Lately, I get angry.
Not violent.
Just hateful.
I think in my head how much I hate this or that.
Or... more often, how much I hate a person for this or that.
It is so unhealthy, I know - but fuck, people are mental!
Recent Pet Peeves (and I am taking a huge risk as people may read this and go "oh shit that is me" but I will be as vague as I can)
-not following through with promises
-making false promises
-lying
-back stabbing
-bragging
-one-upping
-being two-faced
-contradicting
-neglecting
-bailing
-being passive aggressive
ok so I was REALLY vague.... but grrr... i hate people!
One Example:
A girl I know will totally hate on people, make fun of them for doing stuff then turn around and do the same thing.
This same girl is clingy and then a total bitch when she finds a new person to cling to (usually one of my friends) FURTHERMORE she has to brag and lie and one-up and it makes me wanna shout in her face and call her out on her stupidity but I can't because that would just cause drama and we have far too many mutual friends.
Another example:
A person who I totally trust and who promised to never do something I hate recently did that thing. They don't know I know and I shouldn't know but I found out and it is pissing me off. I want to confront said person but I know they will either get mad I found out and back pedal to justify it, or write it off as no big deal and say I am blowing it out of proportion
Another one:
A person I know, not really a friend, who is so self-absorbed and delusional about life, this person is a pathological liar and they don't even SEE their own lies, even when caught in lies this person tries to weave out and act like they never said original lie. This person is also a one-upper, bragger, but so obnoxious literally no one can stand to be near them.... yet for some reason I do and then constantly get let down and/or irritated and angry
One More:
A guy I work for seasonally thinks I am his personal assistant. He will call me 24/7 and expect a prompt answer or reply. If I don't call him back before he calls a 2nd time (2 seconds later or 2 hours later you never know with him) He will leave his stupid fucking message about being disappointed and how I should be more active for the money he pays me and how will the business grow if I can't even answer my phone - really? go fuck yourself!
Currently:
Outside there is some drunk girl singing - - - I want to go to sleep but he is fucking singing - i want to throw rocks out my window at her but I have no rocks inside and I am out of eggs, plus if I miss it will make a mess.... grrrrrr
SO - - - - What is up?
Is it me?
Am I the one with anger issues? Do I need to re-eval and develop coping mechanisms for my anger?
or is it that the world is fucking irritating and I just have the worst luck of being surrounded by morons?
Hmmm...
Please advise!
Not violent.
Just hateful.
I think in my head how much I hate this or that.
Or... more often, how much I hate a person for this or that.
It is so unhealthy, I know - but fuck, people are mental!
Recent Pet Peeves (and I am taking a huge risk as people may read this and go "oh shit that is me" but I will be as vague as I can)
-not following through with promises
-making false promises
-lying
-back stabbing
-bragging
-one-upping
-being two-faced
-contradicting
-neglecting
-bailing
-being passive aggressive
ok so I was REALLY vague.... but grrr... i hate people!
One Example:
A girl I know will totally hate on people, make fun of them for doing stuff then turn around and do the same thing.
This same girl is clingy and then a total bitch when she finds a new person to cling to (usually one of my friends) FURTHERMORE she has to brag and lie and one-up and it makes me wanna shout in her face and call her out on her stupidity but I can't because that would just cause drama and we have far too many mutual friends.
Another example:
A person who I totally trust and who promised to never do something I hate recently did that thing. They don't know I know and I shouldn't know but I found out and it is pissing me off. I want to confront said person but I know they will either get mad I found out and back pedal to justify it, or write it off as no big deal and say I am blowing it out of proportion
Another one:
A person I know, not really a friend, who is so self-absorbed and delusional about life, this person is a pathological liar and they don't even SEE their own lies, even when caught in lies this person tries to weave out and act like they never said original lie. This person is also a one-upper, bragger, but so obnoxious literally no one can stand to be near them.... yet for some reason I do and then constantly get let down and/or irritated and angry
One More:
A guy I work for seasonally thinks I am his personal assistant. He will call me 24/7 and expect a prompt answer or reply. If I don't call him back before he calls a 2nd time (2 seconds later or 2 hours later you never know with him) He will leave his stupid fucking message about being disappointed and how I should be more active for the money he pays me and how will the business grow if I can't even answer my phone - really? go fuck yourself!
Currently:
Outside there is some drunk girl singing - - - I want to go to sleep but he is fucking singing - i want to throw rocks out my window at her but I have no rocks inside and I am out of eggs, plus if I miss it will make a mess.... grrrrrr
SO - - - - What is up?
Is it me?
Am I the one with anger issues? Do I need to re-eval and develop coping mechanisms for my anger?
or is it that the world is fucking irritating and I just have the worst luck of being surrounded by morons?
Hmmm...
Please advise!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Camping
I love camping.
But let me tell ou what camping means for me...
It is NOT pitching a tarp or tent in themiddle nowhere.
It is NOT digging a hole to use as a bathroom, it is NOT even using an outhouse...
No, MY CAMPING involves running water, flushing toilets, tents and trailers, a paid for camp site, 24 hour security, a lake, a beach, a camp stove and a market on site for daily ice, charcoal and cold soda mixers for my booze.
Yes, that is my camping, though my husbands calls it an "outdoor motel" I think it is fabulous.
We do not hunt or fish our own food. We do not deal with wild animals, our worst concern is if our neighbours are jerks.
I love Golden Ears, Cultus Lake and other type locations to camp in BC.
It is family fun without too much sacrifice ;)
What is best is that these locations are less than 2 hours from my home and friends and family can come for day visits.
I just got back from 4 glorious days at Cultus Lake where I read, swam, walked, visited with friends and family and just enjoyed sitting on the beach or by the campfire... I still had my blackberry for tweets if needed, but I also had the fresh air and outdoors to enjoy.
It was awesome!
But let me tell ou what camping means for me...
It is NOT pitching a tarp or tent in themiddle nowhere.
It is NOT digging a hole to use as a bathroom, it is NOT even using an outhouse...
No, MY CAMPING involves running water, flushing toilets, tents and trailers, a paid for camp site, 24 hour security, a lake, a beach, a camp stove and a market on site for daily ice, charcoal and cold soda mixers for my booze.
Yes, that is my camping, though my husbands calls it an "outdoor motel" I think it is fabulous.
We do not hunt or fish our own food. We do not deal with wild animals, our worst concern is if our neighbours are jerks.
I love Golden Ears, Cultus Lake and other type locations to camp in BC.
It is family fun without too much sacrifice ;)
What is best is that these locations are less than 2 hours from my home and friends and family can come for day visits.
I just got back from 4 glorious days at Cultus Lake where I read, swam, walked, visited with friends and family and just enjoyed sitting on the beach or by the campfire... I still had my blackberry for tweets if needed, but I also had the fresh air and outdoors to enjoy.
It was awesome!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
12 Qualities of Happiness
Remember MySpace? Well my best-friend Miss J was going through her old blogs on myspace, remembering the "good ol' days" and so I decided to do the same.
My original MySpace was deleted years ago by MySpace and I was devestated I lost all my blogs, photos and memories... which to this day still upsets me! To be honest, after that, I never trusted or liked MySpace again!
Anyhow, here is something I found on her blog that really applies...
I really liked reading this for a few reasons. One, it is so true, every single thing in there can determine happy or not. Two, it was sent to my best-friend by her mum, who is no longer with us, but it shows her struggle to find happiness and share it. Three, I have been feelng down lately and really feel like this is a good pick-me-up.
My original MySpace was deleted years ago by MySpace and I was devestated I lost all my blogs, photos and memories... which to this day still upsets me! To be honest, after that, I never trusted or liked MySpace again!
Anyhow, here is something I found on her blog that really applies...
so.. my mum is reading this book.. and decided to send me bits of it...
12 Qualities of Happiness
1. Love. This is the wellspring of happiness, renewable and everlasting. We often think that being loved is the best feeling in the world, but it's the second best. The best is loving someone else. Love is the polar opposite of fear, emotionally and neurologically. Thus, it is the antidote to fear and the first step towards happiness.
2. Optimism. Optimism provides power over painful events. I used to think it was an attitude: seeing a glass half full instead of half empty. But that felt artificial, a mere trick of perception. Then I suffered the worst event of my life. My son died. I thought the light had left my life forever. However, in my despair, I realized that my son had left me a legacy of love that was mine forever and that if I could survive the loss of my child, nothing else could devastate me. When I realized this, I found that every hurtful event holds lessons, and that the more it hurts, the more you learn. Thus, I discovered the true meaning of optimism. Optimism is realizing that the more painful the event, the more profound the lesson. Once you bring this knowledge into your heart, you can never look at any event as all bad. Optimism gives you power over fear of the future and over regret for the past.
3. Courage. This is your strongest weapon for overcoming the split-second power of the fear system. You can't rise above fear without courage because fear is hardwired into your neural circuitry. There is no such thing as a fear-ectomy. If fear is eternally programmed into your brain, though, so is courage. It comes from the neocortex and is a product of the spirit, the intellect, and the higher emotions of love and generosity. It is nature's natural balance for the fear that has helped us survive. It's the quality that allows us to thrive.
4. A sense of freedom. Nothing fills the soul like freedom. Freedom is choice, and choice is what makes us human. When we choose, we define who we are. Everyone has the power to make choices, but unhappy people don't know they have it. They think it's only for the rich. It's not. I've met a thousand rich people who didn't feel free. Choice is available to anyone who has the courage to exercise it.
5. Proactivity. Happy people participate in the own destinies and forge their own happiness. They don't wait for events or other people to make them happy. They're not passive victims.
6. Security. Happy people know that nothing over time lasts-not money, not approval, not even life itself. So they don't measure security with a calendar or a calculator. They simply like who they are. They're not slaves to popularity, longevity, or financial status. They know that security is an inside job.
7. Health. Happiness and health are interdependent. It's hard to be happy if you don't feel healthy, and its hard to be healthy if you're not happy. Of special importance for happiness is healthy mood chemistry. You can have a happy life and not even know it if you're tortured by faulty mood chemistry. An imbalance of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, for example, can mask the happiness that lies beneath it.
8. Spirituality. Happy people arent' afraid to go beyond the boundaries of their own lives. They let go, and welcome extraordinary experiences. They have markedly less fear of death. They're not concerned about dying -- they're concerned about not living.
9. Altruism. Unhappy people are usually too self-absorbed to be altruistic. But happy people know how good it feels. It connects you to others, gives you purpose, and gets you outside yourself.
10. Perspective. Unhappy people tend to see things in absolute terms and often can't distinguish small problems from big ones. Happy people see shades of gray, and they know how to prioritize their problems and turn them into possibilities. They don't lose sight of life's big picture during the bad times.
11. Humor. Humor is a shift of perception that gives people the guts to go on when life looks its worst. There is an abandonment in it that is close to enlightenment. It lifts suffering off the heart and hands it to the intellect and spirit, which alone have the power to heal it.
12. Purpose. Happy people know why they're here on earth. They're doing the things they were meant to do. If they died today, they would be satisfied with their lives.
after reading it... I think I've realized part of my problem as of late....
I've lost my happy.
I really liked reading this for a few reasons. One, it is so true, every single thing in there can determine happy or not. Two, it was sent to my best-friend by her mum, who is no longer with us, but it shows her struggle to find happiness and share it. Three, I have been feelng down lately and really feel like this is a good pick-me-up.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Summer Fun
I find that I want to do fun Summer Activities but on a budget. I can't very-well spend money I don't have and I don't work much in the summer given my seasonal job, so... Here are some fun free or cheap things to do in the summer...
Spray Park
We have a spray park near us, as well as a number of other ones in the not-too-far distance that we can attend. Kiddies can play, adults can read, visit, nap ha ha
Swimming Pools
Same as above, but best if your kiddies are older or know how to swim
Drive-in Movies
On weekends the Twilight Drive-in close to us plays 3 movies! The first two are new and the third is a bit older, usually close to dvd release. If you can stay awake for all three, it is a bargain. $12 per adult, less for kids and if you sneak in your own food, you are set. Though we always end up spending a fortune at the concession because we know they don't make much money on ticket sales... and we don't want them to go out of business.
Picnics
You have to eat anyways right? Why not take the food to the park up the street or the lake near by?
Lakes and Rivers and Beaches
If you live near one do it. We are close to a river, several lakes and even the ocean... we don't do this one enough but should
Play Dates
This one is awesome. Have kiddies invite a pal over or go over to play - they entertain each other and you can get some house work, reading, tv or relaxation time in - - usually
Walks
I struggle to get off my lazy butt, but this is an easy way to get ou tof the house and spend time with the fam-bam as well as stay healthy!
Housework
fold laundry outside or garden together. Kids love spending time with parents and why not use the uality time to get some chores done too?
Bike Ride
Like a walk, its healthy excersize
Camping
Go camping. even for a night it is a fun and inexpensive way to spend some summer time
What else??????
Spray Park
We have a spray park near us, as well as a number of other ones in the not-too-far distance that we can attend. Kiddies can play, adults can read, visit, nap ha ha
Swimming Pools
Same as above, but best if your kiddies are older or know how to swim
Drive-in Movies
On weekends the Twilight Drive-in close to us plays 3 movies! The first two are new and the third is a bit older, usually close to dvd release. If you can stay awake for all three, it is a bargain. $12 per adult, less for kids and if you sneak in your own food, you are set. Though we always end up spending a fortune at the concession because we know they don't make much money on ticket sales... and we don't want them to go out of business.
Picnics
You have to eat anyways right? Why not take the food to the park up the street or the lake near by?
Lakes and Rivers and Beaches
If you live near one do it. We are close to a river, several lakes and even the ocean... we don't do this one enough but should
Play Dates
This one is awesome. Have kiddies invite a pal over or go over to play - they entertain each other and you can get some house work, reading, tv or relaxation time in - - usually
Walks
I struggle to get off my lazy butt, but this is an easy way to get ou tof the house and spend time with the fam-bam as well as stay healthy!
Housework
fold laundry outside or garden together. Kids love spending time with parents and why not use the uality time to get some chores done too?
Bike Ride
Like a walk, its healthy excersize
Camping
Go camping. even for a night it is a fun and inexpensive way to spend some summer time
What else??????
Monday, April 4, 2011
New York Baby
So I have never been to NYC and I will be going.... what do I need to know?
I will have one day to site see, one day to kind of site see (I am taking a tour and going to a meet up but will have a few hours to myself to wander) and one day of plans (movie screening, Water for Elephants, don't judge me) and then head home.
Just a taste of NYC but I am psyched.
I found a dirt cheap hotel (well in NYC terms it is dirt cheap) and got a buddy pass for my flight so I am doing the trip in a rel. normal budget (again NYC terms) but I am really excited to see the city
Who has been? What must I see?
I will have one day to site see, one day to kind of site see (I am taking a tour and going to a meet up but will have a few hours to myself to wander) and one day of plans (movie screening, Water for Elephants, don't judge me) and then head home.
Just a taste of NYC but I am psyched.
I found a dirt cheap hotel (well in NYC terms it is dirt cheap) and got a buddy pass for my flight so I am doing the trip in a rel. normal budget (again NYC terms) but I am really excited to see the city
Who has been? What must I see?
Denists
I am in a temporary full time position which includes 100% dental coverage so I am getting all my dental work done while I can.
I have gone (no joke) 5 times in two weeks.
first was cleaning and xray
second was replacing fillings on one side
third was replacing fillings on other side
fourth was a quick fix of my bite from a filling that was too high up
fifth was a quick impression for a night guard / mouth guard because I apparently grind / clench my teeth
sixth is tomorrow and is an appointment with the oral surgeon for a consult
then i book my surgery to FINALLY remove my wisdom teeth which have bugged me for years but I didn't have coverage so I didn't want to pay for the surgery....
ALSO my daughter had a cleaning and a filling so 7 times at the dental office in two weeks ha ha
thank god i have amazing coverage right now!
I am scared for the surgery to be honest. I will be put under and I assume they will take all out at once.... I am a wimp - I think I have a high pain tolerance, i have tattoos, i gave birth without ANY drugs (against my will trust me i begged for drugs!) but besides that I really am a pain wimp!
I am hoping to book it Easter weekend so i have extra days to recover without missing work, though if I have to miss then I have to miss but I actually love my job so I'd rather work, plus i may not have many paid sick days left because I get so sick for so long all the time - boo hiss!
Anyways - the dentists know me and love me and I don't mind them even though they inflict pain.... i don't have to PAY them to inflict pain and the pain is temporary and leads to long term better dental health.
My dental hygienist friend will be proud ha ha
I have gone (no joke) 5 times in two weeks.
first was cleaning and xray
second was replacing fillings on one side
third was replacing fillings on other side
fourth was a quick fix of my bite from a filling that was too high up
fifth was a quick impression for a night guard / mouth guard because I apparently grind / clench my teeth
sixth is tomorrow and is an appointment with the oral surgeon for a consult
then i book my surgery to FINALLY remove my wisdom teeth which have bugged me for years but I didn't have coverage so I didn't want to pay for the surgery....
ALSO my daughter had a cleaning and a filling so 7 times at the dental office in two weeks ha ha
thank god i have amazing coverage right now!
I am scared for the surgery to be honest. I will be put under and I assume they will take all out at once.... I am a wimp - I think I have a high pain tolerance, i have tattoos, i gave birth without ANY drugs (against my will trust me i begged for drugs!) but besides that I really am a pain wimp!
I am hoping to book it Easter weekend so i have extra days to recover without missing work, though if I have to miss then I have to miss but I actually love my job so I'd rather work, plus i may not have many paid sick days left because I get so sick for so long all the time - boo hiss!
Anyways - the dentists know me and love me and I don't mind them even though they inflict pain.... i don't have to PAY them to inflict pain and the pain is temporary and leads to long term better dental health.
My dental hygienist friend will be proud ha ha
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