Friday, January 29, 2010
I am impatient.
People always think I must have so much patience to be in the career field that I am in, but the truth is, I don't.
I get easily irritated when I have to wait or when certain things don't go as they are supposed too - - - on the flip side, I can be completely laid-back and flexible about other things....
Right now I am at work, after a meeting, waiting to talk with the boss as scheduled and he is in there with someone else.. who wasn't scheduled... so I wait...
and I wait...
and if it wasn't important I would totally just bail then explain later - - - but for real, it is 6:30pm Friday - - - I can't wait much longer, I am exhausted, impatient and getting grumpy!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
SEE FULL SIZE HERE
Love no chapped lips or moustaches...Watches... nothing with indiglo or timers "I will have the time and keep you informed" ha ha ha No feather earrings "I know, I'm just saying" lol "Booties if you can pull them off aka probably not" I love that she says to email her a photo to discuss outfits if you are unsure ha ha this is hard-core dress-code eh?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Not a lot has changed, it's still the same kind of area it always was... low income, high crime, troubled.
I drove right through my old complex and saw my old place... my old parking spot, my old staircase, my old front door.
It really took me back, almost to the point of tears.
We lived there when my mom was still a single-mom. She waitressed and us three girls were aged 3, 5, and 8, me being the 8. I went to the local school from Grades 2-5 which for me was a very long time in one place.
We had moved a lot when I was a kid, mostly because of my dad and the trouble he'd find... or create..... but now he was gone and we had a home of our own for more than a year.
I met a lot of friends, I still see some of them today.
I had a lot of babysitters... though most of them did nothing, it was me who took care of us three girls when my mom was at work. Then I'd report to mom what chaos the babysitters got into... smoking, drinking, trying on mom's clothes, boys over... always something...and we'd get a new babysitter.... temporarily.
Most of the families who lived in my neighbourhood were single-parented, if that. Many unemployed, on welfare or struggling as my mom did with a low paying job.
Us neighbourhood kids ruled the 'hood.... with parents working all the time, or passed out after blowing a welfare cheque on booze and sedatives to erase the pain that was their lives, us kids would sneak out, and run wild.
Running wild at that age meant meeting in the forest behind the complex for hide and seek, swimming in the creek, piling into someone's basement to play Super Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo or riding our bikes past our "territory" to the corner store with change we stole from our parent's coin tins.
We had such vivid imaginations, we created a world of our own. We were princes and princesses of our own universe and believed our own happiness, at least until the sun went down.
Even after curfews, if our parents even noticed it had come and gone, we could sneak out and play as late as we liked.
In the winter time we used plastic bags and cardboard to create our own sleds to slide down the hilly snow-covered terrain that surrounded our complex...
In the summer time we would pick flowers and braid daisy headbands, race our banana seat bikes helmetless down the hot cement hills....
We were young and when we were together we were carefree...
Sadly, many of us were not so carefree at home.
We all had our own set of issues... I remember some of the things I saw and experienced, some of the situations my best friends were in.... things no child should have had to endure....
I remember my mom letting friends stay over night, even on schooldays to avoid those situations that were their everyday horrors.... we'd stay up too late, and be tired at school after giggling all night, escaping whatever reality they had waiting for them at home.
Driving through my old neighbourhood yesterday brought back a flood of memories, good and bad, that mad me feel such strong emotions, like it was just yesterday, not over 20 years ago, that we snuck through the forests and hopped along the river...leaving the real world behind.
How I wish sometimes I could just escape the real world and skip rocks along the river, build forts with fallen branches and laugh so hard I rolled down the hill without caring about grass stains.
It was not an ideal childhood for many of us, but we got through it and we overcame it and we learned from it.
I still talk to many friends from back then, we don't often reminisce about the good old days... for those good old days bring back harsh memories for many but I am so glad to know they got out and are still here today.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Granted, I was trouble, but not the kind of trouble the 7-11 cashier suspected.... I was carefree and had no "adult supervision" to adhere to.
See, I moved out when I was still in highschool.
I made my own rules and did what I wanted when i wanted.... the only down side was that my rommie and I were polar opposites.
We were friends, but the only thing we really had in common, besides the ability to get excellent grades without any effort, was that we couldn't live at home anymore and had part time jobs (which we could manage because of our ability to pull in top marks without studying) that would allow us to (barely) survive on our own.
I recall, we had a one bedroom basement suite with avodaco coloured appliances. The walls were this fibery unfinished plywood that were apparently really cool to gaze at while high on acid (so said the roomie)
but, don't get it twisted, she was not the wild one, besides her occasional drug induced trips, she had a steady, long-term boyfriend.... her job... her stuffed animals... and she set up "her room" in half of our pretty large living room.
I got the bedroom, small, but private...
it was a stupid mistake... she had the boyfriend and should have had the privacy of her own bedroom... I had the parties and should have had the openess of the living room, but we chose how we chose.
After too many parties with my friends doing nasty things to her stuffed animals and too many nights of not being able to use my kitchen (which you had to walk through the living room to get to) because the "love birds" were "busy" we realized we couldn't handle being roomates.
We moved on.
We both graduated.
We remained friends.
To this day.
But - oh the teenaged years....
wild, crazy, and even more unusual for me having moved out so young....
everyone else lived with their parents, so coming to my place to party was "the" weekend (and weekday) activity....
I remember one morning after partying a little too hard the night before our vice principal was knocking at our door... yes! We slept through it but got the note on our door and were worried of what he may have seen if he peaked through the windows... oh my!
Again, we still pulled in decent grades, even if we were rarely in class...
We even took in this other girl younger than us who needed a place to stay - though that was short-lived and deffo a story for another day.
Moving Out... Partying Hard.... as a Teen...
I wouldn't advise it....
Now, as an adult, I wonder if my opinions have changed...
Would I let my child move out that young?
Have i become the glaring, suspicious, annoyed adult that can't tolerate teens?
Let's face it.
They think they know everything (as did I at that age) and are often inconsiderate, rude, cocky and annoying.
Too many of them are given everything they want on a damned silver platter and have no respect for or knowledge of the real world. No work ethic, no manners... they're just punks!
It's hard - being the adult now... looking back at the life I lived.... I often don't even think of myelf as a "real" adult... I mean, I still feel the same... though a lot more experienced and less skinny ;)
I guess because I moved out as a teen, I always had that "responsibility" of bills and housework... yet still managed to keep up with school, work, and partying with friends...
So, as an adult now, i can juggle a lot... I work, am a mom, a wife, and still do a lot of stuff for fun!
So, why can't teens have fun and be themselves without adults assuming they are irresonsible?
I don't assume every teenager is up to trouble, though I do assume they have the possibility to be amazing adults and always hope for the best.
I recall how I felt at that age about adults and try not to be "that" kind of adult.... I try to assume the best about all people until given reason otherwise.
But when that reason comes - watch out!
And too many teens give good teens a bad name... the inconsiderate, rude, cocky and annoying teens...
I just tell them to fuck off!